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Hands Violent Increase Listen for the Bell If I Gained the World Is There Disease in the Camp? When I Stand at the Judgment Seat Yield Him All Disobedience Full Surrender Holiness vs. Sinfulness For the Children Quick Jokes World Theme Pages to Color Be Weird Ring Bearer Locked Out! Wash Your Food More Just Thinking New Exercise Program |
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Shalom, dear friends! In Deuteronomy 28:58, God tells the Israelites that His name is "glorious and awesome (fearful)". And in the priestly command recorded in Numbers 6:22-27, God actually put His name on the children of Israel to bless them. But God did this, not because Israel was worthy, but because He wanted to restore the relationship between Himself and His people. Putting His own name on them showed that He took pleasure in and utterly loved them, and it assured them of God's constant care and protection. (Exodus 20:24b) "So what?" you ask? Just this: God has given us more than 40 names by which we may know Him, draw near to Him, and receive from Him. Unlike all the other gods of the nations, the God of the Bible is the only One who demands nothing from us in order to pursue a relationship with Him. Even under the Old Covenantal blood-sacrifice system, God didn't command the sacrifices to indulge some unquenchable thirst for blood — as the other gods possessed — but He required the sacrifices... And under the New Covenant, God provided the perfect, once-for-all-time sacrifice in the Person of Jesus the Christ. In the most dramatic and outrageous expression of His abounding love for us, the Almighty paid the ultimate sacrifice to atone for our detestable sin and permanently destroyed the veil that separated us from Him (Matthew 27:51), so that we no longer have to offer sacrifices in order to draw near to Him. No other god throughout all of man's history has ever done that! That's because no other god throughout history could do that....! Only Yahweh is the Creator and Sustainer of all that exists.... only Yahweh is thrice glorious in holiness.... only Yahweh is absolutely just while also being overwhelmingly merciful.... only Yahweh is both Judge and Savior.... only Yahweh says, "Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavily burdened, and I will give you rest." (Matthew 11:28) Only Yahweh is fully worthy of — and has actually earned — our love, our devotion, our praise, and our adoration. While other gods require strict adherence to a list of regulations, repetitive ritualistic observances, and prescribed sacrifices (even blood sacrifices as I witness regularly here in India) — while giving nothing in return — the God of the Bible asks only for your heart. And in return, He promises to never leave you nor forsake you, to provide your every need, to encourage you in your struggles, to shelter you in your storms, to heal your deepest hurts, to comfort you in your sorrow.... As we begin our study of the Yahweh/Jehovah compound names, I pray that we would all come to a better understanding of our great and awesome God, that would lead to a spontaneous outpouring of praise and worship for who He is. the honor, the glory, and the dominion, forever and ever! Amen!" Revelation 5:13b (WEB)  Be blessed in Jesus' name, and remember: The Christian life is not what we do for God, but what God has done for us!
Your sister & servant in Christ,  My Redeemer Lives Christian Ministry Because of the volume of e-mail I receive, it is impossible for me to respond to every person who writes. If you have an opinion or question, please understand that I will not offer personal advice or debate theological issues. You are welcome to send your opinions, corrections and questions, but I can't guarantee I'll be able to respond. If you're looking for some good Bible study sources, I recommend: Bible.org — Trustworthy Bible Study Resources, Blue Letter Bible Study Resources, Christian Courses by RBC Ministries, Precept Ministries International, In Touch Ministries, Shepherd Serve, Today In the Word, Today's Turning Point, all of which offer hundreds of pages of well-organized teaching articles, Bible studies, and/or daily email devotionals. |
To the world you might be one person, but to one person you might be the world. Back to top |
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Yahweh-Nissi and Yahweh-Shalom "Let them praise the name of the LORD: for His Name alone is excellent; His glory [is] above the earth and heaven." Psalm 148:13 (KJV) Editor's Note: As there is considerable variance among Bible scholars as to former customs, usage, and translations of the numerous names of God in the Bible, the neutrality and factual accuracy of this article may be disputed. These articles are a summation of those ideas and conclusions on which most scholars agree. As we continue our study of the names God used in revealing Himself to us in His Word, we must never lose sight of the fact that God's names are to be revered and treated as absolutely holy at all times. It is no insignificant matter to God how we use His names. Remember the command: "You shall not take the name of Yahweh your God in vain, for Yahweh will not hold him guiltless who takes his name in vain." (Exodus 20:7, Deuteronomy 25:7) This month, we're going to review two of the Yahweh/Jehovah compound names. As discussed in the earlier study of the names Yahweh (YHWH) and Jehovah (Yehova), the Hebrew Tetragrammaton,  (yodh)  (heh)  (vav) (heh), is rendered  (reading right-to-left, YHWH or YHVH). And many scholars today believe "Yahweh" is a more accurate transliteration and that the rendering "Jehovah" derives from incorporating the vowel points of "Adonay" into the Tetragrammaton, thus creating "YaHoWaH".Whether one uses the name "Yahweh" or "Jehovah" is, more or less, a personal editorial decision. As somewhat a literalist, for the purpose of these studies I will be using the name "Yahweh". Yahweh-Nissi — Yahweh Is My Banner or Yahweh Is My Refuge Pronounced Yä-wá' (or Yä-vá') Nis-see', the name appears in the Old Testament only once in Exodus 17:15: "Moses built an altar, and called the name of it Yahweh our Banner [Yahweh-Nissi]." Moses built the altar to memorialize that Yahweh was Israel's banner under which they had defeated the Amalekites. The name "Nissi" derives from the Hebrew "Nes" (nês), which means "banner" or "flee for refuge". "Nes" is also sometimes translated as a pole with an insignia attached. In battle, opposing nations would fly their own flag on a pole at each of their respective front lines. This was to give their soldiers a feeling of hope and a focal point. Combined with Yahweh, the name becomes "Yahweh Is My Banner" or "Yahweh Is My Refuge". This is what God is to us: a banner of encouragement to give us hope and a focal point. In addition to the single employment of the compound name in Exodus 17:15, the word "nissi", meaning "banner", appears in...
Pronounced Yä-wá' (or Yä-vá') shaw-lome', the compound name appears in the Old Testament only once in Judges 6:24: "Then Gideon built an altar there to Yahweh, and called it Yahweh-shalom: to this day it is yet in Ophrah of the Abiezrites." The Hebrew name "Sh'lomo literally means "peace". Since the Talmud translates "Yahweh-Shalom" as "The Name of God is Peace", it is considered to be so sacred that one is not permitted to greet another with the word "shalom" in unholy places such as a bathroom. The word "shalom" can also be translated as "absence from strife". Although the compound name appears only once in the Old Testament, the word "shalom" itself appears some 70 times, meaning "whole", "finished", "fulfilled", or "perfected" as pertaining to wellness or welfare. Shalom means that kind of peace that results from being a whole person in right relationship to God and to one's fellow man, as seen in...
 Click here for a print-friendly copy of this Bible study. The names by which God has revealed Himself represent His power, actions, and reputation. Almighty God cannot be conjured or treated as an object, since He is the Master of the universe and subject to no one. In Scripture we are strictly forewarned not to invoke the name of God for selfish or manipulative purposes (Exodus 20:7). The material provided here is for educational purposes only and is not an endorsement of any form of occultism or Kabbalah. Sources for this study include: Behind the Name Blue Letter Bible Study Resources Judaism 101 Lambert Dolphin's Library "The Names of God" by Nathan Stone Wikipedia — the Free Encyclopedia To view all of the "Names of God" studies to date, go to www.myredeemerlives.com/biblestudies/namesofgodstudy.html. Back to top |
 Each kit contains a camouflage New Testament, a 90-day devotional, and a "Would You Like to Know God Personally?" booklet — all packaged in a waterproof plastic bag small enough to fit into a soldier's pocket. Back to top |
If I Gained the World If I gained the world, but lost the Savior, Were my life worth living for a day? Could my yearning heart find rest and comfort In the things that soon must pass away? If I gained the world, but lost the Savior, Would my gain be worth the lifelong strife? Are all earthly pleasures worth comparing For a moment with a Christ-filled life? Had I wealth and love in fullest measure, And a name revered both far and near, Yet no hope beyond, no harbor waiting, Where my storm-tossed vessel I could steer; If I gained the world, but lost the Savior, Who endured the cross and died for me, Could then all the world afford a refuge, Whither, in my anguish, I might flee? O what emptiness! — without the Savior 'Mid the sins and sorrows here below! And eternity, how dark without Him! Only night and tears and endless woe! What, though I might live without the Savior, When I come to die, how would it be? O to face the valley's gloom without Him! And without Him all eternity! O the joy of having all in Jesus! What a balm the broken heart to heal! Ne'er a sin so great, but He'll forgive it, Nor a sorrow that He does not feel! If I have but Jesus, only Jesus, Nothing else in all the world beside — O then everything is mine in Jesus; For my needs and more He will provide. by Anna Helena Ölander (1861-1939) This poem may be sung as a hymn to the tune of "Blott En Dag" by Oskar Ahnfelt (1813-1882) For what does it profit a man, to gain the whole world, and forfeit his life? Mark 8:35-37 (WEB) Back to top |
the infinite beauty of holiness and the infinite damnability of sin. Thomas Carlyle 1795-1881 Back to top |
How to Spot Spyware on Your Computer In three previous newsletters, I have written about steps you can take to protect yourself, your family, and friends from spam, viruses, hackers, scams, and phishing schemes. Yet, for reasons that are beyond my comprehension, many of you still choose to become victims, or you open the door to your friends' computers to become victims. Why?!?! If you will simply read and follow the simple advice I've provided in these articles, the world of computing will be much safer and more enjoyable for all of us. If you haven't read the articles, then I encourage you — no! I beg you — to stop and read them now. No matter how long you've been using a computer, there just might be some new information that could help protect you or those you love. What Is Phishing? How to Spot Email Scams I've said it before and I'll say it again: You can refuse to become prey! What Is Spyware? As we discussed in a previous article, spyware is a program secretly placed on your PC — usually via freeware and shareware — that gathers information about you (such as your surfing habits, what other software you have on your PC, etc.) without your knowledge or consent. Spyware is mostly used by online or software companies for spam marketing purposes. Spyware sends information from your computer to a third party, usually as part of an advertising-supported software product. Spyware has become a generic term for the types of nuisances often referred to as 'adware', 'key loggers', 'malware', 'phishing attacks' and 'snoopware'. Not all spyware will actually spy on you, but it may instead pop up an advertisement or redirect your Internet searches. Most spyware makers want information about your surfing habits to enable them to target pop-up advertisements or redirect you to paid advertisements where they benefit financially. In many cases, spyware violates your privacy even further by transmitting your personal information or key strokes without you knowing. Spyware mostly takes advantage of: • Vulnerabilities in the computer software you are running. • Ignorance of users not knowing how their computers work. Where Does Spyware Come From?
Signs That Your Computer Could Be Infected with Spyware
The first thing you need to do is secure your computer!
Happy and safe computing! Wikipedia — The Free Encyclopedia Back to top |
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Grandma, some ninety-plus years, sat feebly on the patio bench. She didn't move, just sat with her head down staring at her hands. When I sat down beside her, she didn't acknowledge my presence and the longer I sat, I wondered if she was okay. Finally, not really wanting to disturb her but wanting to check on her at the same time, I asked her if she was okay. She raised her head and looked at me and smiled. "Yes, I'm fine, thank you for asking," she said in a clear strong voice. "I didn't mean to disturb you, Grandma, but you were just sitting here staring at your hands and I wanted to make sure you were okay," I explained to her.  "Have you ever looked at your hands?" she asked. "I mean really looked at your hands?"I slowly opened my hands and stared down at them. I turned them over, palms up and then palms down. No, I guess I had never really looked at my hands as I tried to figure out the point she was making. Grandma smiled and related this story: "Stop and think for a moment about the hands you have, how they have served you well throughout your years. These hands, though wrinkled, shriveled and weak have been the tools I have used all of my life to reach out and grab and embrace life. They braced and caught my fall when as a toddler I crashed upon the floor. They put food in my mouth and clothes on my back.  "As a child my mother taught me to fold them in prayer. They tied my shoes and pulled on my boots. They dried the tears of my children and caressed the love of my life. They wiped my tears when my husband went off to war. They have been dirty, scraped and raw, swollen and bent. They were uneasy and clumsy when I tried to hold our newborn daughter. Decorated with my wedding band they showed the world that I was married and loved someone special. They wrote the letters home and trembled and shook when I buried my parents and spouse."They have held children, consoled neighbors, and shook in fists of anger when I didn't understand. They have covered my face, combed my hair, and washed and cleansed the rest of my body. They have been sticky and wet, bent and broken, dried and raw. And to this day when not much of anything else of me works real well these hands hold me up, lay me down, and again continue to fold in prayer. These hands are the mark of where I've been and the ruggedness of my life. "But more importantly it will be these hands that God will reach out and take when He leads me home. And with my hands He will lift me to His side and there I will use these hands to touch the face of Christ." I will never look at my hands the same again. But I remember God reached out and took my Grandma's hands and led her home. When my hands are hurt or sore or when I stroke the face of my children and husband, I thank Grandma. I know she has been stroked and caressed and held by the hands of God. I, too, want to touch the face of God and feel His hands upon my face. Back to top |
Where but with Him doth peace abide? Gerhard Tersteegen (1697-1769) Back to top |
Quick Jokes What do golfers use in China? China tees! What kind of hair do oceans have? Wavy! In the park this morning I was surrounded by lions! Lions in the Park? Well... dande-lions! What do you mean by telling everyone that I'm an idiot? I'm sorry, I didn't know it was supposed to be a secret! What is the best hand to write with? Neither — it's best to write with a pen! What kind of fish will help you hear better? A herring aid! What do fish sing to each other? Salmon-chanted evening! How does an octopus go to war? Well-armed! Where do you find a down-and-out octopus? On squid row! What bit of fish doesn't make sense? The piece of cod that passeth all understanding! What is dry on the outside, filled with water and blows up buildings? A fish tank! What was the Tsar of Russia's favorite fish? Tsardines! What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus? I wanna hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand! Back to top |
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Numbers 5:1-4 Throughout most of history, scientists have had no understanding whatsoever about infection. In the late 1800s, Louis Pasteur's revolutionary discoveries in microbiology disproved the long-accepted theory of spontaneous generation, an idea that life or even disease could spring from nonliving matter. (Ironically, some evolutionary scientists still cling to a similar theory.) His work proved for the first time that diseases were caused by tiny living organisms and could be transmitted from person to person. God knew something that scientists took thousands of years to figure out: a diseased person could contaminate an entire camp. But His command in today's passage isn't strictly practical medicine. It was a symbolic reminder of spiritual purity as well. The dwelling place of the Lord was not to be defiled. This command showed Israel that impurities have no place in God's presence or among His people. The Israelites weren't perfect apart from the impurities described in these verses, but it was important for them to observe a proper respect for the Lord's presence — the land was different because He lived there, and these people were to be different because they were His. Notice that the Israelites obeyed. That's a key fact in a book categorized by failure. Israel's main weakness at this point was not a failure to obey the letter of the law — although those instances would come. Instead, the critical flaw in the nation of Israel would later prove to be a lack of faith and a lack of appreciation for what God had done for them. It was good that Israel followed the instructions God gave through Moses, but obeying a series of commands is not enough to please God. Every unclean thing must be removed from His presence and from the dwelling place of His people to prevent the spread of both physical infection and spiritual impurity. Sin spreads in our lives and among people like an infection. If God is absolutely pure, we should honor His presence within us by addressing any impurity in our own hearts and encouraging our brothers and sisters in Christ to do the same. Avoid the tendency to let the behavior of others set the tone for our own conduct. Instead, employ God's zero-tolerance policy on your own sin. Allow the Holy Spirit to convict and purify your heart and life. "Today in the Word" Copyright © 2007 Moody Bible Institute Back to top |
 "The Kingdom of Heaven is like a treasure hidden in the field, which a man found, and hid. In his joy, he goes and sells all that he has, and buys that field." Matthew 13:44 |
Just up the road from my home is a field with two horses in it. From a distance, each looks like every other horse. But if you stop your car or are walking by, you will notice something quite amazing. Looking into the eyes of one horse will disclose that he is blind. His owner has chosen not to have him put down, but has made a good home for him. This alone is amazing. If nearby and listening, you will hear the sound of a bell. Looking around for the source of the sound, you will see that it comes from the smaller horse in the field. Attached to her halter is a small bell. It lets her blind friend know where she is, so he can follow her. As you stand and watch these two friends, you'll see how she is always checking on him, and that he will listen for her bell and then slowly walk to where she is, trusting that she will not lead him astray. When she returns to the shelter of the barn each evening, she stops occasionally and looks back, making sure her friend isn't too far behind to hear the bell. Like the owners of these two horses, God does not throw us away just because we are not perfect or because we have problems or challenges. God watches over us and even brings others into our lives to help us when we are in need. Sometimes we are the blind horse being guided by the little ringing bell of those whom God places in our lives. Other times we are the guide horse, helping others see. Good friends are like this. You don't always see them, but you know they are always there. Please listen for my bell, and I'll listen for yours.... Contributed by Janice Moshier Back to top |
 Always wash fresh food before eating! |
Who do you think the Apostle Paul was talking to when he said, "We are fools for the sake of Jesus Christ, and you are wise in Jesus Christ."? (1 Cor 4:10) To you or me? No. He was talking to the people who don't know God. He was talking to people who think they can work out their own salvation without the cross. I spoke with several of these modern-day "wise men" this evening. These people were explaining to me how we can be "God's children" and still live in the world and in the fullness thereof. I said I would prefer to live in the world as someone passing through but not of it; a person trying to get back home. You can't give place to the world, to your passions or your laziness. Words alone are not going to be enough to claim the Kingdom of God. It is going to take strength, courage, and violence. Over and over for the past two days, the scripture about the Kingdom of God suffering violence and the violent taking it by force has rolled over and over in my heart and conversations. I am talking about violently resisting the flow of the world. Violently giving up on all that holds you back from God. Violently turning your will over to God and doing His will alone. This violence is what I want for myself and all of us in the body of Christ to know. Some people will say that this is too much pressure, but what about the pressure of the world to be more like them; to accept and live like them? The gospel of "tolerance" has cost too many souls. If we could peek into Hell, I know there would be many voices warning us of things that are deemed acceptable in the world, even excusable in the church, but not holy before God. Herein lies the battle between light and darkness. Darkness battles hard to paint a gray area in front of us. This gray area is a place of compromise and carnality. A place that can and will cost you your anointing and authority, your holiness and purity. It is also a place where we hear the Word, but do not act on it. Satan has fought long and hard to keep God's treasure, you, from entering into complete freedom. If he cannot get you through blatant sin, he tries to cause you to see the world that he has established as less threatening, even inviting. If nothing else, Satan will work to keep you from making a decision for what you hear God calling you to do.  "And from the time John the Baptist began preaching and baptizing until now, the Kingdom of Heaven has been forcefully advancing, and violent people attack it." (Matt 11:12) If you are violently advancing spiritually, Satan will likewise attack back violently. If you are passively advancing, his resistance will be passive. Imagine a farmer tilling a field that has never been plowed or has been dormant for many years. Regardless of how sharp his plow is, he is going to feel resistance from the ground. The ground would rather be left undisturbed. If he is not aggressively pushing forward, he will take months to plow it under. Jesus taught the same teaching: "Then Jesus began to denounce the cities where He had done most of His miracles, because they hadn't turned to God. 'What horrors await you, Korazin and Bethsaida! For if the miracles I did in you had been done in wicked Tyre and Sidon, their people would have sat in deep repentance long ago, clothed in sackcloth and ashes on their head to show their remorse . . . and if the miracles I did for you had been done in Sodom, it would still be here today. I assure you, Sodom will be better off on judgment day than you.' " (Matt 11:20-24) The first word in this new paragraph, but not a new chapter, is the word "then". It means Jesus was still talking to the same people about the same thing. Violently advancing. All of chapter 11 is one sit-down talk with this group. There may be paragraphs in it, but it is one group; one thought. He is rebuking them sternly (ever been there?) saying that they had seen Him do many signs and miracles in their midst. He isn't saying they do not believe in Him. He isn't saying that they are not accepting of the word. He is saying that they are hearing and seeing but not acting on it. He closes this time with them by praying. He says, "Father, Lord of Heaven and earth, thank You for hiding the truth from those who think themselves so wise and clever, and for revealing it to the humble and gentle."  Again, as we spoke at the beginning about wise people and fools, I asked who you thought the Apostle Paul was talking to when he said, "We are fools for the sake of Jesus Christ, and you are wise in Jesus Christ." To you or me? No. He was talking to the people who don't know God. He was talking to people who think they can work out their own salvation without the cross. In the same manner, Jesus is saying these people think they are wise. They think that they are in good standing because they have accepted Jesus in their midst. They have welcomed his preaching and miracles. But they have resisted the power that will make them godly. "These peoples' worship is a farce. They honor Me with their lips but their heart is far from Me." (Matt 15:8) He is not talking about the world, because He points out that they are worshipping. This is a message He is delivering to people who call themselves the people of God. Once I had burned with a fire for God. Personal revival was all I lived for. Then things became hard. Attacks from the realms of darkness. Attacks from people (that I now know the enemy used to push hardness into my heart by my not choosing forgiveness). And the fire of God burned out. I could still act a good show in front of others who still burned, but the fire was no longer in me. I could still talk the talk, but I had no fire in me. I felt and responded to the fire in them, but smoke was all that was left on me. And once you have been on fire, smoke will never do. What does your heart burn for? What do you live for? If you say God, do your actions line up with your confessions? This year, Revival Fire 2007, God wants to ignite the cold hearts, reignite the departed hearts, and consume more of all of us. Our God is a consuming fire. He will consume as much of you as you allow. I say it's time we lived the words of John the Baptist: we will decrease and let Jesus have it all so that He can increase in us and burn deeper and broader than ever before. Back to top |
before there can be full blessedness. Frances Ridley Havergal (1836-1879) Back to top |
Here's the exercise program I'm using to stay in shape this year. You might want to take it easy at first, then do it faster as you become more proficient. It may be too strenuous for some. As always, consult your doctor before starting any exercise program! Scroll down... > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Now scroll up... Okay, that's enough for the first day! Phew! Back to top |
 It's good to sometimes be weird! Back to top |
When I stand at the judgment seat of Christ And He shows me His plan for me, The Plan of my life as it might have been Had He had His way, and I see How I blocked Him here, and I checked Him there, And I would not yield my will — Will there be grief in my Savior's eyes, Grief, though He loves me still? He would have me rich, and I stand there poor, Stripped of all but His grace, While memory runs like a hunted thing Down the paths I cannot retrace. Then my desolate heart will well-nigh break With the tears that I cannot shed; I shall cover my face with my empty hands, I shall bow my uncrowned head... Lord of the years that are left to me, I give them to Thy hand; Take me and break me, mould me to The pattern Thou hast planned! by Martha Snell Nicholson Martha Snell Nicholson suffered from four incurable diseases. She struggled with pain for more than 35 years and was bedfast. During that period, however, she wrote some of the finest Christian poetry ever written. See other poems by Martha Snell Nicholson at http://www.mercydrops.com/Snell.htm Back to top |
For the Children World Theme Pages to Color Click on an image to open a page for printing it full-size.  ...... ......  ...... ...... Provided by All About Coloring — Free Coloring, Games, and Puzzles Back to top |
in God's eyes than multitudes of sins in an unbeliever. Back to top |
A woman was at work when she received a phone call that her daughter was very sick with a fever. She left her work and stopped by the pharmacy to get some medication for her daughter. When returning to her car she found that she had locked her keys in the car. She was in a hurry to get home to her sick daughter. She didn't know what to do, so she called her home and told the baby sitter what had happened and that she did not know what to do. The baby sitter told her that her daughter was getting worse. She said, "You might find a coat hanger and use that to open the door." The woman looked around and found an old rusty coat hanger that had been thrown down on the ground, possibly by someone else who at some time or other had locked their keys in their car. Then she looked at the hanger and said, "I don't know how to use this." So she bowed her head and asked God to send her some help. Within five minutes an old rusty car pulled up, and out stepped a dirty, greasy, bearded man who was wearing an old biker skull rag on his head. The woman thought, "This is what You sent to help me?" But, she was desperate, so she was also very thankful. The man asked her if he could help. She said, "Yes, my daughter is very sick. I stopped to get her some medication and I locked my keys in my car. I must get home to her. Please, can you use this hanger to unlock my car?" "Sure." He walked over to the car, and in less than one minute the car was opened. She hugged the man and through her tears she said, "Thank you so much! You are a very nice man." The man replied, "Lady, I'm not a nice man. I just got out of prison today. I was in prison for car theft and have only been out for about an hour." The woman hugged the man again and with sobbing tears cried out loud, "Oh, Thank you God! You even sent me a Professional!" |
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A little boy was in a relative's wedding. As he was coming down the aisle he would take two steps, stop, and turn to the crowd (alternating between bride's side and groom's side). While facing the crowd, he would put his hands up like claws and roar. So it went: step, step, ROAR, step, step, ROAR all the way down the aisle. As you can imagine, the crowd was near tears from laughing so hard by the time he reached the pulpit. The little boy, however, was getting more and more distressed from all the laughing, and was also near tears by the time he reached the pulpit. When asked what he was doing, the child sniffed and said, "I was being the Ring Bear." |
It's not hard to meet expenses, they're everywhere. Let not the sands of time get in your lunch. Reality is the only obstacle to happiness. Life is what happens while you're making other plans. I realized I was dyslexic when I went to a toga party dressed as a goat. Nothing's impossible for those who don't have to do it. I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing. Have you ever noticed a man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need. |
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National Association of Evangelicals United Christian Ministries International Scripture taken from: King James Version (KJV), Copyright © 1990 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. New King James Version (NKJV), Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. New International Version (NIV), Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society World English Bible (WEB), 2001 MT-based public domain update of 1901 American Standard Version (ASV) Copyright © 2007. My Redeemer Lives Christian Ministry™. All rights reserved. |
